Except for the last few months, for over 30 years, I have only worn nail polish on my toes. A strong and silent type, gave me a touching present last night; 5 mini bottles of sparkly nail polish. The gift brought back a memory…
When I was skinny, dorky and 14, I had an English teacher named Mrs. Thomas. She was supposed to teach us English literature, but mostly she just managed to keep the class under control. Her class rules were simple - if you were tired, you had the right to sleep, if you were stoned, you had the option to zone out, and if you happened to be interested in literature, she allowed you come to her desk and discuss the readings.
I loved reading, and I loved her, so, of course, I always went to the front to discuss the stories and life. She called me Lakshmi, Hindu Goddess of Love and Beauty.
One day I came in with my finger nails painted a bright post-coital red. Mrs. T, looked down at my fingers, then up at my face, and asked, “Did you put nail polish on your toe nails too?”
“No.” I responded, surprised by the concern in her usually composed voice.
“Only bad girls wear nail polish on their finger nails. If you want to wear nail polish on your finger nails, you must also wear it on your toe nails. Make sure that tonight you put nail polish on your toe nails too. It will de-bad you.”
“Oh, okay.” I responded respectfully.
With that she smiled and we proceeded with the literary discussion of the day.
That night I removed all the polish from my fingers, and then painted my toe nails the same red.
“There, that should doubly de-bad me,” I sighed happily.