Friendly Trickster

I do a double take and re-read his sign.

At first I did what I am sure he expects most people to do. I read, Help fight homophobia.

"I love your sign," I tell him, and he uncovers his face for a better picture.

He has friendly trickster eyes, and his smile is engaging.

"Did you know that there is a $55 fine for panhandling?" He asks.

No, I didn't.

"Yup, there is. But, the cops were nice to me one night. They told me to go across the River to panhandle - they don't fine you there."

He pauses and then he laughs, "Ya, but they forgot to mention that they put you in jail."

Merivale Mall Maverick

"Maverick, MAVERICK! MAVERICK, are you disobeying me?"

The Erratic Genius and I look at each other and start laughing, and I quip, "Well, if you give a kid such a name you, what do you expect?"

Blue Skies - Hoots and Hellmouth - Part II

I was so taken by the energy that these boys put out during the workshop that I knew I had to see them on the main stage that evening and dance to them.

I urged my little sister, Gerbil Queen, to join me. Ever the trusting soul she agreed to meet me later at the front of the main stage. Well, within seconds of their powerful music and clever lyrics starting we were dancing as hard as they were rocking us with their big sound! We even revived our talent at doing the bump to dance to This Hand is a Mighty Hand, a gospel song on amphetamines.

We were glowing and exhilarated after their encore, wishing they would play the whole night. Gerbil Queen turned to me, her gentle eyes sparkling with energy, and proclaimed, "Ils sont sauvages!".

The next day, I went looking for the fellas hoping to get them to autograph my CD of their wicked music. I saw three of the band members coming towards me, and I headed up to them with a big smile on my face.

"Hi guys," I said confidently, "I hear that you are friendly and happy to sign autographs".

"What? Who said that? Fuck off!"responded handsome Andrew "Hellmouth" Gray.

"Ya, get lost," chimed in Sean Hoots (whose gorgeous red curly hair I desperately resisted touching).

"Grrrr-grumble-fffff-mmm" added the sweet looking base player (whose name I don't know).

I got a little closer to Andrew, stood my ground and called him a bitch at which point we all burst out laughing and they proceeded to sign my CD.

I love these guys.

It seems that we Canadians find them very funny unlike their American countrymen.

Below are their autographs - remember how my little sister called them savages? I told them about that, and they seemed to like it. (picture 1)

Oh, can anyone decipher what the base player was saying to me with those musical notes? (picture 3)

Unfortunately

"What's your in bed fortune Erratic Genius?" I ask as I crack open my fortune cookie. The cookies are served warm at this restaurant. We can't help but wonder if it is because they are stale.

"Don't say in bed, Woodsy, it's just not funny," responds the Erratic Genius chiding me for my ignorance as he lets out a quiet sigh. "Say, except in bed - try it."

Pretty in Pink

"Hey, look, the napkin is folded to look like a shirt," I say to my son.

"Ya, I know I'm trying to put it on!" He replies.

I look up, and the Erratic Genius, who is from the gentle giant breed, is trying to slip on the napkin as if it were a shirt.

Spelling Bee-itch

"Hmmm, how do you spell "miss-quoted?", I mumble to myself.

"Bee-itch," offers the Erratic Genius who's presence I'd forgotten.

"Heh, heh, heh!" He laughs in his evil baritone voice.

It doesn't read funny, but the boy has a gift for timing and delivery.

So, from now on when someone asks me how to spell something, I know I will want to reply, "Bee-itch".

But, coming from me it will just sound crazy old woman, and not hilarious, brilliant young man.